What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear this word?
SN:(tell me below I love comments guys!)
For me when I hear it I think of the most obvious form of an addiction, addiction to drugs like crack, weed, heroine etc. But I want to talk about the most opaque form of addiction.
Having an addiction to people like friends, lovers, and, best friends.
*disclaimer: I am by no means a pro nor expert on relationships, the following are things I have observed and experienced that I will like to share with you all peace and love y’all*
Take for instance in a relationship, many people unknowingly develop a natural but unhealthy( will explain later) dependency on this person or persons. I have watched a family member of mine have a three-year and counting relationship with her boyfriend, there is nothing these two haven’t been through together. Throughout their relationship they have relied on one another , (which is healthy to me) because their relationship models a cycle of giving and taking; they replenish one another. However, this particular behavior in a relationship become unhealthy when one or more partners within the relationship are either secretively or openly not mentally stable to carry themselves nor their partners, so they reply on their partner to fill them up without trying to refill their partner back up.
KEY: BEING MENTALLY STABLE IS KEY.seek mental stability from yourself, please note you don’t have to seek alone,( your partner would be a great person to help you on your journey)
The act can be toxic on any type of relationship any one can have; because humans need love too! And if we don’t receive it we become distant, disconnected, or even passive aggressive towards that person.And this is a no no if you are attempting or in the progress of building a healthy relationship.
It is here that I say that it is important that you love yourself before engaging into a relationship, remember guys if you don’t love yourself then who will? In the words of J. Cole LOVE YOURZ!!!
Personally, I find it very uncomfortable and award when a close friend drags themselves down by saying little things like, “well who would ever like me” or ” well I know no one will…” LIKE STOP IT it makes me sad for you 😦
DON’T RELY ON OTHERS TO CREATE YOUR HAPPINESS. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. your light and truth are within you
Love yourself love and love will come your way I promise you.
And I know its hard and I know you are thinking like, “If it was that easy then I would already and would not be reading your posts”.
Understand this you are not alone and I am with you in every step you may take in your journey whether it’s backwards or forwards. I am here.
Much peace and love,