( I donot own the photo that is placed directly above or below this. The photo above belongs to @KaiDavisPoet)
Written 3 months ago:
Hi my loves!
I have been away just living my life and learning lessons.
I’m not going to lie being an adult is hard and I’m so over having to ‘adulting’ my self
I once read in a book I read a few months ago that had said, :
“When shit gets hard, you try again. You get back up. When life’s a bitch, you be a better bitch.That’s what you do.”
I admit I struggle the most with this. Cause I feel anxious about the thought of uncertainty and before I even start my fight I become depressed and give up mentally.
Remember: You are human. You are imperfect. You will make mistakes.
I have faced a lot of hardships and struggles these past few months and at first, I thought I was unaffected and that my depression was not depressing me but what I have realized is that my mind will still work even while I am in dysfunction. I often trick my self into thinking everything is, ‘fine’ and ‘okay’ even when I am really not.
I have been inspired this month by Poet as she uncovered her new tattoos. If my memory serves me correctly that I was in either 8 th grade at Skinner or my freshmen year at Whitney Young Magnet when I first began to listen to Kai Davis’ poems and spoken word pieces.
I have been away living my life and learning a lot about myself. One of the things I have learned:
- To be with frank with y’all I’m a boss ass bitch. I will admit on a day like today I often forget. I be forgetting and my friends have to remind me from time to time that I am tweaking on myself hard.
If you do not know who you are then you will fall for anything and anyone.
Currently, I feel as though I’ m struggling academically not because the course work is rigorous but because its simply new and its so much material. Like I have to learn in such a short time frame and on top of that I actually have to act like I like all that I’m learning to be able to commit it to my memory. And don’t even let me get started on how bad my memory is these days I been I have post-its, printed out schedules, reminders on my devices and a desk calendar to remember day to day shit. And I understand that it is apart of life and growing up but my ass being like I’m Mary Jane:
First of all no one told me sophomore year would be this hectic and crazy. I rarely go out anymore and you can most definitely find me in the library or in Psychology and or Science building at Spelman.
If someone wants to take me out to a lil spot around campus and have a good time laughing and preferably eating some food one of this upcoming weekends just let me know 🙂 cause school is actually killing me man!
If anyone and I mean anyone wants to give me motivation, tips , words of encouragement etc, please don’t be scared to reach out to me on any of my social medial platforms!! Visit my contact page!
This past week and weekend my school as well as Morehouse college had our #Spelhousehomecoming and that nearly killed me but Im still alive 🙂 I want to end this on a good note.
Shout-out to my brother for 10+ years, Arshad you are the best photographer ever! Thank you for always willing to gas me up when I can’t or won’t. Love you for ever!!
Talk to y’all soon 🙂