Checking for intentions. Telling your fake friends from your real ones.

I want us to discuss this topic.

How do YOU  tell a fake friend from a real one?

How do you define a fake friend?

How do you define a real friend?

Do you have your own experience you want to chat with me about?

(see contact form below or reply in the comment section or email your girl at onlynaturallove@icloud.com)

Can YOU tell when your friend(s) begin to act ‘funny’? Do you address their behavior or dismiss it?

I wanna chat today family |

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 let’s get it poppin in the comments or submit me your thoughts via email and if you want me to reply place your email within  the comment box! 🙂

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Never switch up, just react accordingly.

Hi lovelies, to my old and MANY new family members to the #naturalloveblog WELCOME!

I’m currently in a mental health/social media cleanse for  8 days in counting now, I cannot truly express how much I needed it. Being in college and living on a college campus these social media networks and (actually no matter where you live) and the people on it can become toxic. And at the exact moment when my interactions with social media networking sites become toxic and my feelings towards it become negative, I have to let it go.

I got to cut it off.

Cause I know its not watering me/not helping me its not moving me further on my path.

I also will say for my A.U.C( Atlanta University Center students’ Spelman, Morehouse College, and Clark Atlanta University) and any other my other followers that have been and/or in college/university right now that being on social media can damage you in the way that you begin having a  fght with yourself,and  maybe it is for likes, maybe for that one certain person to see your picture and double tap and show you love… what ever you are seeking on social media after a while it can become toxic.

My main reason for seeking out the #naturalloveblog family is that I wanna talk about SPRING AND SUMMER TIME and what it does to us!

I really believe its the change in seasons (the increase in temperature and sunshine) that has a direct impact on the changes we have seen in others (our friends, families, teachers, haters etc,.) and even in our selves at times.

People’s energy begins to switch up like drastically and It will be having my ass confused and looking at them like:

 

confused

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Like, sis what is wrong with you who raised y’all????

Sidenote: have you ever experienced this? I wanna know sus, contact  me!

I feel “stuck in between what wasn’t and what could be  the truth”, with people and their energy changes

For my new  #naturalloveblog family I talked about this topic a year and some months ago in:

  1. seasons change and so do your friends. 
  2. letting the toxins within your life go.
  3. not diming your light just so someone else can shine

I think what always makes me feel better in a time that makes me become uncertain and even anxious in some cases is always trying to figure out why is this change happening to me?

But, I had to change the negative connotation of conservations I was having with my self regarding the reflections of my past, current, and future relationships.

I always remind my self that elevation requires separation.

 

If you follow me on twitter @madebycaitlinm then you have seen/read about me speaking on this and my views towards it.

A quick read on elevation requires separation:click here

These people’s energies are going up and down like elevators. In response to the inconsistent energies:

I don’t act, I just react.

And then I  (try… cause sometimes Its hard I will be the first one to admit it ) leave it alone.

It’s all about the idea that my energy is not an act or me being  “fake”, but making sure I’m being present in the moment and being and bring my ‘whole self’ into a conversation or any other type of energy exchange.( read this, it’s a present!)

As I find peace in knowing the issue is not one I caused and that the person(s) are battling through their own internal struggle.

 

 

“If love was easy to find we would not need it to complete our lives”– “Why iii Love The Moon.” by Phony Ppl


I pray this message finds you in love and light,

 

Caitlin

 

 

P.S For those wanting to do a social media cleanse/mental health cleanse too you can! 30-Mental-Health-Cleanse-List

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rejuvenated

Hi lovelies!

I’ m  back and better than ever!!!

I hope you all had peaceful breaks. I  myself definitely did. I have taken it upon myself to unlatch my self from the internet from all the social media networks that created a unnecessary addiction that had developed.

I have been keeping it low key for my sanity because that was I deserve. I deserve peace so I went out actively seeking it after school got out in December. I want to say how this fall had been by my hardest semester here in college not because of rigor ; but because it effected my mental health so much.

I’m grateful the fall is over and now spring is here and I feel as though I am able to breathe. I am able to actually be present for myself. I have been manifesting and plotting seeds of what I desire and want in my life and I’m grateful for my close friends and family for being there for me. But most importantly God for I give thanks to him before anything I do.

I’m truly thankful  for the blessings that have been falling into my lap.

And with this good spirit I currently hold I will like to share some tips that have helped me with my time management skills that I believe a lot of you will enjoy!


I was told by one of my Psych professor’s that:

 

“Structure brings freedom.”

This being said you must plan your work and work your plan.

This is hard as I am a student of all of this but I’m dedicated to keeping myself on track in my plan.

Trust your process.

  1. Make schedules for starting and completing assignments on time
  2. schedule time for work, homework, extracurricular activities and hanging out with friends and family (this is extremely important!! If you have been apart of the natural love family then you know It was very hard for me to set boundaries for myself.But hard work pays off…. trust me when I say this!
  3. Use color-coded notebooks to help you stay organized by separating sections o homework, notes and handouts within a  binder.
  4. Get and use  a daily planner. (This is a must!)  I have days where I am so busy and running around the everywhere that I forget to open my daily planner so what helps is setting reminders on my computer and phone s’ calendars using Google’s calendar app. (I’m telling you this is a major key) You can print out your calendars, download the app on your phone so notifications can be sent to you. This saved me last semester!!)
  5. Set up a study area. This area must be quiet place where you can be comfortable and cannot be disturbed by anyone!!
  6. Avoid Distractions. YOU GOTTA STICK TO THE PLAN  NO BIG SEAN!!!!!!!!
  7. Schedule a regular homework time
  8. Take breaks. This is so important because personally I push my self so hard that I feel like a break cannot occur until everything is done but in reality I physically and mentally need these breaks to be able to be the best while doing my work.
  9. Make a list of long-term goals and short-term goals.
  10. Study at least one hour every night a week before a test.
  11. Keep a time log for one week. In the log write down what you do in your free time as a way to keep track how long you spend doing  including on the weekends.
  12. Don’t procrastinate! Your friends can wait. Your significant other can wait. Don’t wait to the last minute

 

 

 

You cannot stumble on what is BEHIND you if you are only looking what is AHEAD of you.

(Shoutout to my girl Daja. We can only go up and ahead from here.)

Similarly, what is in the past is in the past for a reason,don’t look for a reason to bring it back. I’m excited to get this new semester started! I’m excited for all new things … new people… new friends…. new relationships…new classes.. and new experiences.

 

Bless Up!

 

Love yall!

Do you have a topic that you would like to be addressed?? Do you want my opinion regarding a situation? Do you need advice? Do you need prayer? love?….

Hit up my email for subjects you would like to see here on natural love blog

 

You can’t compete where you do not compare.

 

 

#STAYINYOURLANE

 

I think it’s really hard to not compare yourself to others  when social media makes it so easy make it feel like you are competing  with your peers, friends, etc.

https://twitter.com/LOVERAVENNN/status/915595003593990144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

 

 

JaeltheGreat said:

““Don’t compete with one another. Sharpen one another.”

 

I’m not your competition. I’m not your rival understand this. -Caitlin

I will believe being at the number 1 Historically Black College for the last 7 years in a row it makes you feel like you aren’t doing enough, you are not involved  in the extracurricular activities like you should be. It just feels like you need to be doing more all the time.

Much love to Eva,

Jael also said that, “Confidence will get you through anything in life.
You being confident in yourself allows you to move forward in your life.”

And that’s real I can see that in my own life as I watched one of very good friends,Erin get accepted into Senior Seminar Research program (which is really selective) and got inducted into Psi Chi (Psychology Honor Society) within the span of what felt like JUST 1 week. I have came to the conclusion that it was all possible because of her sacrifice, determination, will, a great support system,and HER MINDSET.

 

She was confident in her abilities. And I admire my good friend for this quality.She understands that for success to occur one must make sacrifices. But please understand it was not easy, but she did it, because she knew she could. I love her so much for that.

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I believe the following things are important for me to say:

  • I know it’s hard but we all must work hard for the things we want in our lives. Something that is of value doesn’t get obtained without effort and sacrifice.

 

  • You can never take a break from yourself. You cannot get away from yourself. So you might as well love yourself.

 

Also…..

You must work in your gift work through your purpose.

JaeltheGreat  also said, :

“You are perfect for your purpose.” Find your purpose. Ask your self what makes you happy? What waters your soul?

  • don’t ever dim your light for anyone. To those who cannot handle your light then oh well..
  • If people start hating on you just understand that is just apart of the process to you leveling up.

“Whole people heal people.” Broken people break others down.”

“Don’t focus on the negative. Only accept the words that have came to water you!”

 

Understand that in order for elevation to occur separation must occur first!

You are doing something right hunny when they start hating on you. Tell dem haters you said thank you ;).

I speak alto  on having to let go of friends and people of love so that I may  be able to elevate myself.

I recommend to read the following  posts to read:

  1. not diming your light just so someone else can shine
  2. letting the toxins within your life go.
  3. Bruised, not broken. 
  4. no more allowing people to take their plate and leaving.
  5. seasons change and so do your friends.

Think about it like think  this:

Imagine you having to run up 4 flights of stairs and you have all these bags you are carrying with you. The baggage you are carrying begins to impede on your success of running when you have reached the 2nd flight of stairs out of the 4.

You must let that baggage go.What ever weighs you down. What ever does not water your growth. Whatever that does not feed you. drop it.

Word to Ms.Eyrkah Badu… side note I’m putting it in the universe that you will receive this and receive this love ❤

Much love to:

https://twitter.com/livinlela/status/926087170439380994?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Like a house that is built with a bad and unstable foundation we must:

What ever makes you feel drained. What ever that makes you unstable. drop it. destroy it.

Like if you address an issue you have found to be problematic in ANY of your relationships and that person is unwilling to make a decision to change. Then you must make the decision to change. Cause you cannot change others, you can only change yourself.

 

God gave you your light.Walk in your light with purpose. Walk with your purpose. Live for yourself. Be yourself.

Make it a habitual then as you get use to it make it a intentional action to love yourself.

When you do this, things becomes easier with time.

your worth is not quantifiable and its not up for debate.

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“IF YOU DON’T WANT IT THEN DON’T SAY IT.
TALK THINGS THAT YOU DESIRE.”-@JaeltheGreat

I want to share that for the last month or so I had been feeling really drained like school made me so exhausted and stressed out that I didn’t realize that I was not doing anything I love.

I felt like and still feel like:

Like I like school when it’s not stressing me out, but its not something I love. I am a very  passionate person and if I involve my time, energy, anything and everything into someone or/and something then I will give it everything I have and then some more.

And I hadnot been doing that with school. Cause to me it was robbing my joy and my free time. So I had to ask myself the following question and I encourage everyone to do the same:

I will admit I was not doing all I could do in a few of the past weeks in school so I got some grades that I am not too fond of. (this is accountability)

I had a few setbacks too.

So I started to apply more pressure and be intentional about what I wanted to see change in my life. I stopped mentally comparing myself to others and their paths.

I had begun to say the mantra:

This is my path. On this path is only me. I am my biggest opponent. No one else but me.

In a conversation I had with a good friend of mine this past week she told me that, a person as passionate as myself I need to be involving myself in things  I am really passionate about. If you really know me  I mean really actually know me then you know I love fashion.

 I have now made the conscious decision to speak life into myself. To speak the things that I desire into the universe.

JaeltheGreat said: “IF YOU DON’T WANT IT, THEN DON’T SAY IT.
TALK THINGS THAT YOU DESIRE.”

I allowed fear and opinions of others that don’t matter to control me and stop me. I love fashion and have been delaying the creation of my clothing line for so long now. I have made excuses. I have been allowing my fear to stop me. I am no longer afraid to tell people my dreams. People telling me I cannot make it, I won’t be successful…. only makes me go harder!  I’m from Chicago,we really a different breed in the land. The line is still in the works but for now,  So I decided to become a fashion stylist.

And here is a shameless plug:

CAN I DRESS YOU? DO YOU NEED SOME STYLING TIPS? DO YOU WANT A MAKEOVER?

email me at onlynaturallove@icloud.com AND/OR my Contact page 

 watch me create outfits on Polyvore

 

Remember my loves:

If you want to see how I dress then head over to my vsco page @naturallove

(I will be posting more outfits to the vsco page just give me some time 🙂 )

and/or  my Instagram page    @thelifeof_

 

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Remember nobody can be you like you can.

 

Bye my loves! Talk to you all really soon I promise!!

-Caitlin

 

 

When life hits you hard hit it back harder.

( I donot own the photo that is placed directly above or below this. The photo above belongs to @KaiDavisPoet)

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Written 3 months ago:

Hi my loves!

I have been away just living my life and learning lessons.
I’m not going to lie being an adult is hard and I’m so over having to ‘adulting’ my self
I once read in a book I read  a few months ago that had said, :

“When shit gets hard, you try again. You get back up. When life’s a bitch, you be a better bitch.That’s what you do.”

I admit I struggle the most with this. Cause I feel anxious about the thought of uncertainty and before I even start my fight I become depressed and give up mentally.

Remember: You are human. You are imperfect. You will make mistakes.

I have faced a lot of hardships and struggles these past few months and at first, I thought I was unaffected and that my depression was not depressing me but what I have realized is that my mind will still work even while I am in dysfunction. I  often trick my self into thinking everything is, ‘fine’ and ‘okay’ even when I am really not.

I have been inspired this month by Poet  as she uncovered her new tattoos.  If my memory serves me correctly that I was in either 8 th grade at Skinner or my freshmen year at Whitney Young Magnet when I first began to listen to Kai Davis’ poems and spoken word pieces.

I have been away living my life and learning a lot about myself. One of the things I have learned:

  1. To be with frank with y’all I’m a boss ass bitch. I will admit on  a day like today I often forget. I be forgetting and my friends have to remind me from time to time that I am tweaking on myself hard.

If you do not  know who you are then you will fall for anything and anyone.

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Currently, I feel as though I’ m struggling academically not because the course work is rigorous but because its simply new and its so much material. Like I have to learn in such a short time frame and on top of that I actually have to act like I like all that I’m learning to be able to commit it to my memory. :/ And don’t even let me get started on how bad my memory is these days I been I have post-its, printed out schedules, reminders on my devices and a desk calendar to remember day to day shit. And I understand that it is apart of life and growing up but my ass being like I’m Mary Jane:faaaee75792b42d7f8203265b7af86b4

First of all no one told me sophomore year would be this hectic and crazy. I rarely go out anymore and you can most definitely find me in the library or in Psychology and or Science building at Spelman.

If someone wants to take me out to a lil spot around campus and have a good time laughing and preferably eating some food one of this upcoming weekends just let me know 🙂 cause school is actually killing me man!

If anyone and I mean anyone wants to give me motivation, tips , words of encouragement  etc, please don’t be scared to reach out to me on any of my social medial platforms!! Visit my contact page! 

This past week and weekend my school as well as Morehouse college had our #Spelhousehomecoming and that nearly killed me but Im still alive 🙂 I want to end this on a good note.

ZGrUSy

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Shout-out to my brother for 10+ years, Arshad you are the best photographer ever! Thank you for always willing to gas me up when I can’t or won’t. Love you for ever!!

Talk to y’all soon 🙂

Love

CaitlinIMG_0722

not diming your light just so someone else can shine

7/5/2017

 

I just finished having probably one of the best conversations I have had with my sister in a while. We are currently in Boston at our internship, and we are just sitting down and back and reflecting on our lives, the hardships we have faced and face currently talked about not diming your light for others, so that they may shine.

I think this concept is one that is extremely vital in one’s journey of self-love and self-discovery.

The idea that you have gained and grown so much that you love yourself despite what people may say about you and or believe about you. This idea reminds me of the blog post I published a few months back entitled: letting the toxins within your life go. (Go check this out if you have not yet! I promise you it is an amazing read!)

In this blog post, I talked about success and how when we begin working towards making our dreams our realities we will have people in our lives who really don’t support us nor love us like they should.

 

I want to take the time out here to answer a question I got regarding intentions and how do can you know that a person or persons in your life are not right for you?

  1. Check their intentions.
  2. Check for truth.image
  3. Check to see if they will support you like they said that they would. Words sound nice but REAL action behind the words are better.
  4. Trust yourself. Trust your instincts.

LIVE your life for you and no one else cause trust me you will regret it.

💛✨✨✨

This includes time, energy, support, love anything and everything you can give to someone else.

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I want to share a lil story

You know the saying:

“in order for you to find yourself you have to lose your self.”

I didn’t even know that I was losing my self … until I was realized that I had become content with the idea of settling, of allowing my circumstances to create my future and present.

When I spoke about my most recent about a heartbreak I faced  in the blog post and how I realized that I am no longer scared to love BUT I am scared to live… I real

I know what you are thinking wtf she talking about… I allowed my anxiety from my mid-teenage years to now to control… to dedicate what I do .. what I say and how I act, how I lived my life. I knew I was losing myself when I had become in love with the idea of falling in love to feel complete. In my mind, I was content with allowing someone do the same work I had to do for myself by allowing them to try and do it instead.  But I was too much and I had too much baggage… that’s my reality, I don’t do relationships because I am not able to allow my self to accept the love I so rightfully deserve.

….and that’s the truth.. this is the real shit that no one wants to hear.

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Everyday ….

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So I  have chosen to live for me. I decided to love me even when it does not come naturally. I promised my self I wouldnot, “half-ass my self”, meaning I will devote the same energy, time, patience and love that I give freely to others to myself.

I have promised my self that I will practice loving me for me. Cause let it be clearly stated that loving your self is a process that does not occur overnight. It is one that takes time and diligence. I constantly have to remind myself of the light I have within me.

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In order to heal with must uncover our scars. Although they are ugly, they are what shape us into the people we are today. And Y’all know I believe in self love.. or else this … ‘onlynaturallove’ would not even exist.

I loved myself enough to make this dream into my reality. I trusted myself and accepted my light regardless how many people told me no one would support this, that this blog would get no views, and that I wouldn’t do numbers. Despite the shade I received I still trusted myself. Cause I knew if no one supported me that I supported me and that’s all that truly matters.

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